and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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