billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
