Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
