I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
