I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize