Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
