Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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