Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
