Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
