i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
