Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
