my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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