he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just want to make out with him forever
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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