barbara walters just said penis...
Barsexuality is the new black.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
