i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
