awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
