Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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