Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize