i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
