Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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