this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize