Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
