you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
