the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
