you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Randomize
