Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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