They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
