you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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