I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
