Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize