What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
