I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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