we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
