i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
