And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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