How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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