We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
