3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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