everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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