u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
