Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
