he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
