not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
