Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
