I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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