If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
