My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
