i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
