haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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