My hand turned me down
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
