I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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