i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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