Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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