my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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