Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
this just has baby written all over it
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
