Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
